The Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy Casebook by unknow

Author:unknow
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Jason Aronson, Inc.
Published: 2011-08-15T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Eight

Exploration and Integration:

When Present and Past Meet

Kim S. Golding, B.Sc., M.Sc., D.ClinPsy.

I first meet Liam while I am at the house to work with one of the other children. He remains quietly in the background, curious about me but not wanting to admit to this curiosity. Psychologists are for the other children, the ones with issues, not for him. He is ten years old, tall and thin with a shock of black hair. He appears, surveys me briefly, and then disappears. I continue my work and leave without seeing him again. This becomes a pattern. I arrive, am aware of him in the background, briefly, and then he is gone. Very different from his sister, Taylor, younger by eighteen months—she likes to make sure of me. Instantly my friend, she checks me out, chatting to me but not waiting for any answers, monopolizing my attention until Jenny gently removes her and I can get on with the purpose of my visit.

Jenny and Tom are long-term foster caregivers to Liam and Taylor. I have supported them for many years and heard about Liam when he first arrived as a bossy but appealing eight-year-old. His intelligence, his need to entertain, and his need to be in control were evident from the very beginning. He quickly made clear that he would live here but would not allow Jenny or Tom to parent him. He was already aware of the danger of showing emotions. He explained to Jenny that he kept his feelings locked in boxes, the keys flying around so no one could unlock the boxes even accidentally. When he was nearly angry one day he looked at Jenny with astonishment, surprised because she had nearly caught a key.

This self-reliance was hard earned and had kept him safe during his early years living with his birth parents. They were a well-meaning couple who loved their children but had no idea how to meet their needs or keep them safe. Preoccupied with their own safety, fighting regularly, and with little ability to budget or even keep food in the house, Liam had to learn from an early age how to look after himself and his younger sister. Liam’s birth mother was wary of Liam; she had a history of poor relationships with the males in her life and she anticipated a troubling relationship with her son. She made age-inappropriate expectations of him, and when he failed at these he was physically punished. At the local school they remembered a quiet child always hungry and dirty, but making few demands on them.

Liam was six years old when a decision was made to bring both children into local authority care. Practicalities of finding urgent placements meant that his first and temporary foster placement was without his sister. He was to live there for eighteen months while care proceedings were initiated and decisions were made for the children’s future. It was decided that Liam and Taylor would be placed for adoption together, and because of this another short-term placement was found for both of them.

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